Friday, July 21, 2006

Stewart Punches Hole In Bush's "Pro-Life" Universe, Offers Absurd Advice For Absurd Times

Is there a link between the Iraq War and embryonic stem cell research?

Jon Stewart and the folks at The Daily Show think so. And on last night's episode, Stewart made a pretty convincing argument:

How can a president so ardently proclaim his "pro-life" beliefs -- critics would say its political payback to religious right leaders who helped him get to the White House -- and at the same time act so nonchalant describing the "30,000, more or less," dead Iraqis during the war, presumably including several thousand innocents among them.

Stewart, timing his argument to President Bush's veto -- the first of his presidency -- of popular legislation supporting federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, provides a seemingly absurd answer for those upset with the veto. But from Stewart's perspective -- and no doubt Daily Show fans agree -- these are absurd times, and as a result, maybe an absurd response shouldn't be discounted.

Here's an unofficial transcript from last night's show:

STEWART: White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said the president's veto showed no moral ambiguity.

SNOW (from Wednesday's press conference): The simple answer is: He thinks murder's wrong.

STEWART: Wow. Uh, well, Tony Snow is right about one thing. That is a pretty simple answer. But is there any way to say that with more condescension or self-righteousness?

SNOW: What the president has said is he doesn't want human life destroyed. Now you may consider that insignificant ...

STEWART: You may consider that insignificant. You may have a baby juicer at home, where newborns are squashed to provide you and your hippie friends fresh baby smoothies. Uh, but as far as we're concenred, flattening babies for their sweet sweet nectar is wrong.

BUSH (from Oct. 13, 2004, presidential debate): I think it's important to promote a culture of life. I think a hospitable society is a scoiety where every being counts and every person matters.

STEWART: Every being counts. Every person matters.

BUSH (from Dec. 12, 2005, press conference): How many Iraqi citizens have died ... in this war? Um ... I would say 30,000, more or less.

STEWART: Each one, precious. Each one, each one, sacred-ish. As it turns out, there seems to be a bit of a loophole in the "culture of life" promotion thing. When spreading democracy, more absolute gets a little wiggle room.

SNOW: It is one of the horrible side effects that civilians do get injured and killed, and that is one of the lamentable things.

STEWART: It's not murder. It's lamentable side effect. The upset stomach and diarrhea of freedom, if you will. So when it comes to the theory, when it comes to the theory that embyronic stem cells can help the fight against disease ...

BUSH (Aug. 12, 2004, interview with CNN's Larry Knig): This country has to be very careful on destroying life to save life.

STEWART: And when it comes to the theory that military intervention can promote Middle East democracy ...

SNOW: In a situation like this, you don't want to create undue carnage with civilians.

STEWART: Yes, you want to create due carnage with civilians. You know what I'm saying: The carnage they had coming.

So if I may offer just a touch of advice for advociates of stem cell research: stop calling it stem cell research. You, my friends, are now on the front lines in the "War on Terrorble Diseases." Yes my friends, if I may be so bold, we as a nation have been attacked by Osama Bin Parkinson's. (Shows ultraviolet scan of brain diseased by Parkinson's.) It actually makes sense, look at a brain scan of a Parkinson's patient, (Shows ultraviolet image of Osama Bin Laden.) it kind of looks like Osama, a little bit. Osama Bin Parkinson's and his evil cohort: Mahmoud Al-zheimer's. We'll fight them in vitro, so we don't have to fight them here. I'm not saying we're going to deploy these stem cells indefinitely, but when paralyzed patients stand up, we will stand down. Good night. God Bless America. We'll be right back.

BUSH (May 31, 2005, speech): This is the issue before us, and that is whether or not we use taxpayer's money to destroy life.

BUSH (Dec. 12, 2005, press conference): I would say 30,000, more or less, have died as a result of the initial incursion and the ongoing violence against Iraqis.


Blogger thewaronterrible said...

The alarming hypocrisy between Bush stem cell and Iraq positions should be made and repeated often.
It is not a liberal argument. It is one of plain common sense.
To be sure, Iraqi kids who are blown apart by U.S. taxpayer funded bombs are just as valuable a human life and worth preserving as any child or "stem cell" in the U.S.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous MrToffeeLovesYa said...

"How can a president so ardently proclaim his "pro-life" beliefs ... and at the same time act so nonchalant describing the "30,000, more or less," dead Iraqis during the war."

This president has made it clear that there is good and there is evil, and he has chosen which side he wants to be on.

Try to appreciate the logic of the moral majority, liberals. Embryos can grow up to be babies. Some of those babies may grow up to be scientists. Others may grow up to be philanthropists. Put them together, and they can do great things, without affecting the US taxpayer. Not only does that make sense to conservatives, who want to reduce the size and scope of the federal government, but it works for religious conservatives, who don't want the federal government funding anything related to reproduction.

On the other side, you have Iraqis. Bad Iraqis. You can't deny you've heard about bad Iraqis, right liberal America? But you don't hear about Iraqi scientists, or Iraqi philanthropists, in the liberal media. You hear about Iraqi insurgents. You hear about Iraqi militants. You hear about us fighting Iraqis over there, so we don't have to fight them here. Wake up and smell the reality, liberals.

Which side do you think Bush is going to be on -- embryos who can grow up to be scientists and philanthropists, or Iraqis who would rather kill Americans than become scientists or philanthropists? It's a simple equation for the president. Pow!

Liberals who would rather keep Iraqis alive and use embryos for research simply don't see eye-to-eye with conservatives. Next thing you know, liberals will say the death penalty is wrong! Or that law-abiding citizens shouldn't be allowed to carry concealed guns, just in case they need to kill a bad guy! Plain and simple, conservatives see things differently.

Polls may say 60% of Americans favor embryonic stem cell research, but why should conservatives let that matter? It's a free country, liberals, and conservatives won't let the poll-taking elitists run their lives. There's only one opinion that counts for conservatives in the heartland (hint: It's not Hillary Clinton's.) Pow!

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow... That's brilliant. You think you could work the word 'Liberal' in there a little bit more?

Please tell me about all of the wonderful would-have-been scientists and philanthropists which have been destroyed in the name of IVF. I don't see anyone crucading to stop that.

DIAF. Please.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Some Farker said...

Why not just use stem cells from the Iraqi babies? Logical fallacy explodes...

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Murder is Murder said...

"Embryos can grow up to be babies. Some of those babies may grow up to be scientists. Others may grow up to be philanthropists."

"But you don't hear about Iraqi scientists, or Iraqi philanthropists, in the liberal media. You hear about Iraqi insurgents."

Just because you don't hear about Iraqi scientists and philanthropists in the "liberal media" doesn't mean there aren't any. Just because you do hear about Iraqi insurgents doesn't mean everyone in Iraq is an insurgent. Not every embryo becomes a scientist or a philanthropist either. Charles Manson was once an embryo.

The issue in question is how Bush can passionately claim the cause of protecting life, and talk about the "culture of life" and such, while still being at LEAST partially responsible for, and callous to, the deaths of innocent people. Yes, there are Iraqis shooting at our troops, trying to bomb them, etc. There are also Iraqi civilians being killed in the crossfire. Are the innocent lives lost in Iraq to bullets and grenades less valuable to the world than an American embryo? I guess maybe to conservatives.

The bill that was just vetoed (although I have not read it) was reported to contain provisions for the ethical acquirement of stem cells. If they can, in fact, be obtained ethically, and can provide help for people with serious illnesses (who often suffer for years before dying), then why should they not be studied?

"Polls may say 60% of Americans favor embryonic stem cell research, but why should conservatives let that matter? It's a free country, liberals, and conservatives won't let the poll-taking elitists run their lives."

You're right, it is a free country. And liberals won't let hypocritical conservative religious fanatics run their lives either. In my opinion, we are all doomed to failure until we learn to have a little consideration for our fellow man, whoever he is, whatever age, and from whatever country he may hail.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrtoffeelovesya, you are right sir.

Our liberal media does not mention the Iraqi Doctors, Scientists or other good people that are being killed with US tax dollars as a result of this war.

We must only be killing bad people.

Too bad we couldn't kill them as embryos. Am I right! Are you with me?

We wouldn't have this problem today if we could just control the world population by culling embryos. You know keep the good ones and nix the bad ones. I'm sure the conservatives would fund research that would let us achieve this goal!

Take your blinders off. Pow!

-Another Farker

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A Haiku for Mr. Toffee

Mr. Toffee no one knows
You are a liberal in conservative clothes
What happened to the laughter?


1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush, who used invitro fertilzation to have his own two daughters thinks embryonic stem cell research is wrong. Does that mean he is going to release the 400 or so unused embryos from Laura to the public to become "snowflake" babies? Or is he going to have them frozen indefinately or destroyed? Guess....

Bushs Veto is defending the right of invitro fertilization users to throw out their unused embryos. Period.

They will still be destroyed. Only now that destruction benefits no one.

Next up, outlawing the organ donor program?

1:39 PM  
Anonymous MrToffeeLovesYa said...

Murder is Murder said:

"Just because you don't hear about Iraqi scientists and philanthropists in the "liberal media" doesn't mean there aren't any. Just because you do hear about Iraqi insurgents doesn't mean everyone in Iraq is an insurgent."

Conservatives don't argue that every Iraqi is an insurgent. Just the ones our brave troops are fighting on a daily basis, and will continue to fight for the foreseeable future. If you see an Iraqi on television, more often than not, it's an insurgent.

If the official goal was to kill Iraqi scientists and philanthropists, wouldn't the president say so? Wake up and smell the reality, liberals. Even under intense daily grilling from the "mainstream media," you can't find a quote from Scott McClellan or Tony Snow saying official U.S. policy is to kill Iraqi scientists and philantrhropists. You won't even find that kind of talk from Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity. When Raw Story uncovers a secret administration memo saying, "Let's make sure we kill all the scientists and philanthropists," then conservatives will have something to think about. Pow!

"Not every embryo becomes a scientist or a philanthropist either. Charles Manson was once an embryo."

C'mon liberals! The reality is, this president wants to make sure that sort of research isn't done, because he understands the religious conservatives' view that the only person who should decide what embryos grow up to be is Jesus.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous aquart said...


2:06 PM  
Anonymous Mz Pip said...

It's interesting that the anti-science Bushbot crowd can look at pictures of dead and maimed Iraqi children and blithely write it off as collateral damage in the war on terror but go all psycho at the thought of a cluster of cells smaller than the head of a pin being used in research for the cures of disease.

Stewart nailed this one.

Mz Pip

2:06 PM  
Anonymous BOSSHOG said...

I sincerely believe anyone opposed to stem cell research should be locked up in an Alzheimer's Wing of a nursing home for at least three months. There are horrible human conditions which apparently "christian conservatives" don't give a fuck about.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous malaise said...

It was John Stewart at his brilliant best.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous patrice said...

I like that link between "paralyzed patients" and paralyzed Iraqis!

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Pow"? Who the fuck says "pow"?

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Farch Grover said...

I can't find a quote from Tony Snow stating that the CIA wanted to assisinate Castro, so I guess they didn't.

Wake up Conservative America, Pow!

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tony Snow hasn't been around long enough to say something like that, grover.

2:41 PM  
Anonymous mohinoaklawnillinois said...

I caught that segment last night and I was laughing so loud in the living room, I woke up Mr. Wonderful in the bedroom. Absolutely hilarious...

2:48 PM  
Anonymous sinkingfeeling said...

Saw this last night. Jon was brilliant! Best put-down of the hypocrite ever

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Farch Grover said...

O RLY! Thanks for clearing that up, I had no idea. Are you sure?

Feel free to comment on the typo in that post. It was just as obvious as the historical inaccuracy or didn't you notice?

2:56 PM  
Anonymous alias: "cutiepie" johnson said...

It would be pretty amazing if Raw Story uncovered a secret administration memo saying, "Let's make sure we kill all the scientists and philanthropists."

Not that I'm expecting that, but with all the leaks coming out of the administration ... LOL

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Grover: O RLY = O'Reilly?

3:06 PM  
Anonymous chat_noir said...

video up on You Tube

5:38 PM  
Anonymous xxqqqzme said...

thanks for the link

It was worth watching again.....damn, I am in awe of the sharp people writing that show!

5:39 PM  
Anonymous whoop4467 said...

I really astounds me the depth of ignorance that Repuks have achieved under the current Bush influence. There are many fertility clinics in the US that will destroy many un-used embryos via bio-medical waste procedures. Due to the fact that embryonic transplantation has a low success rate, prospective parents have to create many embryos (15-20). Then after they have had the 2-3 children they want, something has to be done with extra. They have 4 choices:
1. Save frozen for ever at a monthly fee or until death or divorce , then destroyed
2. Donate to "snowflake kids" or another couple.
3. Donate to Research
4. Destroy via bio-medical waste (the most chosen option) Which is "murder" according to Busheys.
Where is the Repuke outrage for #4? Hypocrites I would say.
Repuks have no problem with the fertility clinics doing a booming business of destroying embryos.
Which points to another Repuke Hypocracy. How did we ever achieve the ability of in-vitro embryonic survival and implantation without medical research? I would guess that many embryos were destroyed during the many years it took to get fertilization to where it is today. Still many are destroyed trying to make fertilization and implantation work with a higher success rate. Having high moral values is commendable, but being a hypocrite is having fake moral values. Like repuks want us to believe they all are christians that believe the Bible is all truth and democrats do not,but repuks have the same divorce rate that Democrats do.

8:15 PM  
Blogger V said...

Guys! MrToffee's pulling your chain. You look silly taking him seriously.

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Angelina's Evil Twin said...

V, I disagree.

MrToffee is just like the rest of the CONSERVATIVES who come here. The only difference between MrToffee and Sniffer is the ability to SPIN more eloquently.

HAHA, he smirks. YOU STUPID LIBERALS, he laughs.

People like MrToffee are so quick to DEFEND BUSH that they don't realize HOW STUPID THEY SOUND.


11:55 PM  
Anonymous Vierotchka said...

Using a living but discarded blastocyst for stem-cell research in no way implies that the blastocyst has been "murdered", since life continues in its cells, whereas destroying discarded blastocysts does in fact kill them. Furthermore, arguing that life begins at conception is prima facie preposterous - the egg and the sperm are living entities which combine to make a blastocyst, therefore life precedes conception. Conception is simply a recombination of life. Bush said he is against stem-cell research because he is against murder, but by those standards, the destruction of discarded blastocysts is murder, whereas to use living stem-cells is not to kill blastocysts, it is simply using its living parts to produce more living parts - there's no death there! So basically, by vetoing stem-cell research, Bush is vetoing life and promoting death - in this, he is being totally consistent.

6:04 AM  
Blogger agnostic said...

Mr. Toffee is correct. Bush did choose between good and evil.

He chose to invade Iraq on a lie. He chose to enact the Patriot Act attacking our rights.
He chose to support Israel with bombs and aviation fuel. He chose to lie, cheat, and destroy our country.

Clearly he chose between the two and just as clearly as he chose evil.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those embryos are potential terrorists! What about a preemptive strike?

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MrToffee is a MORON!!!
Wake up and smell the LIBERAL coffee!!

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bottom line stuff:

While Bush vetos research here(to appease his religious base), his Daddy and their friends are probably investing in companies overseas, doing the same thing, at a cheaper rate of course!

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's Trinity?

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Peg said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, MrToffee, but I could have sworn your initial comment in this series was intended to be sarcgasm.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous MrToffeeLovesYa said...

Peg, I call 'em like I see 'em. Just like President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Defesne Secretary Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Rice, and all the other secreatries I don't know the names of. If liberal America continues to ignore the conservative mindset, or react to it with terms straight out of an elitist New York Times review, like "intended to be sarcgasm," then the truth train is going to run them down again and again.

Wake up and smell reality, liberals. Our nation is fighting wars on many fronts. Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Culture wars. Battles for the hearts and minds of Americans. Many of these are wars of attrition. Most create casualties.

The Bush Administration, and their conservative friends in Congress, have proven time and again that they know how to lead the nation into these battles. It was a Republican who coined the phrases "Axis of Evil," "War on Terror," and "Cut and Run Democrat." You don't see liberals coming up with phrases like that, do you? C'mon liberals, even winning the media war, conservatives have blitzkrieged their way to victory in that most important war -- the war of public opinion. Pow!

Do the math, liberal America. Given a choice of drinking their own urine or dying of dehydration, most Americans will choose the urine. Liberals who decide to ignore the urine, make fun of the urine, or condescend those who drink the urine won't survive.

I hope that helps you, Peg.

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"conservatives have blitzkrieged their way to victory in that most important war -- the war of public opinion. Pow!"
I guess that's why Democrats have a sound lead over Repu...well, let's just call them all the polls for favored party to run congress. I guess that's also why the polls show the majority of Americans opposed to the puke's Iraq war. Now that's a real Batman TV show, KAPOWWWEEE!

10:43 PM  
Anonymous whoop4467 said...

To MrToffee- why are you sitting at your computer and posting on this blog when you should be enlisting in the military to prove to us that you are not a "Cut and Run Republican" that will put into action your strong boastfull support of the "war on Terrorism"? Just think, you go go and fight in Iraq, send many of the insurgents to their meeting with Virgins,and come back to the US as the "Audie Murphy" of the Iraq War. I also recommend you invite Trinity to enlist with you and maybe you both could become the "Duo Audie Murphy". Since I suppport the Troops I will purchase two more helmuts through the "opertion-helmut" fund for the both of you. Please e-mail me when you get there and let me know how you are doing.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous David G. said...

I just wanted to say I love the "POW" thing. I mean, that's sharp analysis for ya.


11:16 AM  

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