Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Daily Show Offers Its Take On Cheney's "Firearms Mishap"

On last night's edition of Comedy Central's The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, viewers were presented with one of the best bits of political humor in the show's very funny history:

JON STEWART: I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

ROB CORDDRY: Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face.

STEWART: But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?

CORDDRY: Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

STEWART: That's horrible.

CORDDRY: Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little 'covey' of theirs.

STEWART: I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob.

CORDDRY: Well, whatever it is they do … coo .. they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

STEWART: Okay, well, on a purely human level, is the vice president at least sorry?

CORDDRY: Jon, what difference does it make? The bullets are already in this man's face. Let's move forward across party lines as a people … to get him some sort of mask.


Blogger thewaronterrible said...

But I fear these relatively innoculous stabs at Cheney's hunting abilities provides a sought-after open window for the MSM to detract from more relevant Bush Administration issues such as the NSA spying debate, the Katrina response, the Iraq war debacle, etc.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous amitten said...

That is brilliant. Thank God for the Daily Show.

They're doing what they can to keep the liberals sane. Because lately, this administration is anything but.

5:39 PM  
Anonymous warrens said...

You come over here and clean the chili off my screen!
Good lord, that was funny.

I liked Letterman's #1 reason Cheney shot his buddy. "Thought he was giving him one of those gay cowboy looks."

5:39 PM  
Anonymous classof56 said...

Thanks for posting for those who missed TDS last night.

I stayed awake to watch it, and just watched it again this morning. What an absolute riot--laughed myself silly both times. Too bad the Colbert Report was a repeat yesterday. Looking forward to his take on the Big Shoot--unless the poor victim doesn't make it. I've already encountered, second hand, people who believe it was Whittington's fault for not "announcing himself." As has been said so often here on DU, apparently it simply does not matter what Bushie and crowd do, to their supporters it's all good. Imagine if veep Al Gore had done this...just imagine...

Tired Old Cynic

5:39 PM  
Anonymous EOO said...

God, I havent laughed that hard at the Daily Show in a long time...

I saw it last night (along with Stewart blasting the Olympic opening ceremonies) and I was just laughing so hard that I freaked out my dogs.

5:40 PM  
Anonymous gWbush is Mabus said...

LOL - awesome

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Mad_Dem_X said...

TDS never disappoints.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous wordpix said...

really funny stuff, gave me a laugh after those Abu Ghraib photos

11:26 AM  

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